I feel weak today
Just like I always feel
Every night when i turn out the lights
My facade of strength fades
I see myself crumble
And the voices in my head
They ask me about my day
I went to college today
The headmaster asked me
"What did you do to yourself?"
I wanted to tell him that this wasn't me
Its what they did to me
But just like always
I excused and took a trip back home
Another six months wasted
I drove out to the sea
The same place I kissed four years ago
The same place I sat
Ate my pizza and scribbled on the sand
The same place I watched the waves sweep me from the shore
The same place that I now cry myself alone
I saw the kids laughing and messing around
The same way like I used to be
I missed my friends
The ones I destroyed
And those who destroyed me
I came back home
The emptiness awaits
No potato chips or tea could sate me
I try to divert my mind
And I'm talking to you right now
You told me once, didn't you
That I could always come by to your place
When the skin on my hand feel so smooth
Can you hear the blade, inside my drawer, calling?
But I can't come to you, I'm not allowed
I tried the second solution you gave me
Went out for a walk
In the middle of the night,
The pawn shop made me miss you again
365 days of being sober multiplied by 3
I tried to make a broken ring of smoke
The walk didn't serve me well too
And Fred's got enough on his head
Tonight after 365 days of being sober
No butterflies or glitter
Or hope in a false God
Or the promise of your name
Can wipe the scars from my hand!
Just like I always feel
Every night when i turn out the lights
My facade of strength fades
I see myself crumble
And the voices in my head
They ask me about my day
I went to college today
The headmaster asked me
"What did you do to yourself?"
I wanted to tell him that this wasn't me
Its what they did to me
But just like always
I excused and took a trip back home
Another six months wasted
I drove out to the sea
The same place I kissed four years ago
The same place I sat
Ate my pizza and scribbled on the sand
The same place I watched the waves sweep me from the shore
The same place that I now cry myself alone
I saw the kids laughing and messing around
The same way like I used to be
I missed my friends
The ones I destroyed
And those who destroyed me
I came back home
The emptiness awaits
No potato chips or tea could sate me
I try to divert my mind
And I'm talking to you right now
You told me once, didn't you
That I could always come by to your place
When the skin on my hand feel so smooth
Can you hear the blade, inside my drawer, calling?
But I can't come to you, I'm not allowed
I tried the second solution you gave me
Went out for a walk
In the middle of the night,
The pawn shop made me miss you again
365 days of being sober multiplied by 3
I tried to make a broken ring of smoke
The walk didn't serve me well too
And Fred's got enough on his head
Tonight after 365 days of being sober
No butterflies or glitter
Or hope in a false God
Or the promise of your name
Can wipe the scars from my hand!