Many of the kids tend to follow in their parents footsteps. I have seen many people turning out to be just like their mothers or fathers. Boys specially tend to follow after their dads.
I for once never had this opportunity to actually get to know my parents let alone follow them. My parents got separated while I was seven. At that age, I was too young to understand what was taking place in my life. No doubt I had seen my mother going through hell while still being married but then it all seemed normal to me.
Yelling, shouting, beating, abusing. It was the atmosphere inside my house. I remained in constant fear. Fear of oppression from my father. Fear of abandonment. Fear of getting beaten up. Fear of not getting good grades.
It was like loading a poor animal with enough straw that it falls flat. There was too much baggage. Soon after the divorce, I was left with nothing but shame, guilt and lies. I went through a tough time. Growing up as far as I say was not the best of my childhood memories.
My parents - I would rather call them wardens. They were never around to pick me up when I fell. On the contrary they would try and bury me alive if they had their way.
My mother constantly reminded me of how I was never good enough for her. She told me a million times till it became a part of my identity that I was the reason for her pain and that I am a disgrace to her. I wonder a lot. Why didn't she opted to abort me in the first place. She has never been the mother I wanted her to be. I would rather not use the word worst here. I'd simply say my mother never had it in her to become a parent. She was a great teacher no doubt about it. But she never cared. I tried for a connection throughout my life. I was unable to get one.
My father had been absent most of the time and whatever time I did spend with him. I would not say I have fond memories of it.
When I think of parents being the role models for their children, I think to myself. Is this really how I want to treat children, in general. I have been teaching since the past ten years. Through out this time, I have never raised my hand against any one of my pupil and they are very well disciplined. In fact my students 'love' me. I use this term 'love' because I have felt affection and a sense of belonging from them. The kids that I have tried raising, I did so by simply being there for them. Whether it was their homework or taking the to a movie or fixing their game-boy or guiding them through career choices or simply clearing their head off in relationship issues. I did what my parents could never do. I was there for my students.
My parents gave up on me a long time ago. I miss them. There are holes inside of me. I never had a family to support me. I guess I love my parents but I don't like them. I do not like the moral examples they have set for me and I certainly don't like the way they behave and treat people. I guess not everyone wants to end up like their peeps.
I for once never had this opportunity to actually get to know my parents let alone follow them. My parents got separated while I was seven. At that age, I was too young to understand what was taking place in my life. No doubt I had seen my mother going through hell while still being married but then it all seemed normal to me.
Yelling, shouting, beating, abusing. It was the atmosphere inside my house. I remained in constant fear. Fear of oppression from my father. Fear of abandonment. Fear of getting beaten up. Fear of not getting good grades.
It was like loading a poor animal with enough straw that it falls flat. There was too much baggage. Soon after the divorce, I was left with nothing but shame, guilt and lies. I went through a tough time. Growing up as far as I say was not the best of my childhood memories.
My parents - I would rather call them wardens. They were never around to pick me up when I fell. On the contrary they would try and bury me alive if they had their way.
My mother constantly reminded me of how I was never good enough for her. She told me a million times till it became a part of my identity that I was the reason for her pain and that I am a disgrace to her. I wonder a lot. Why didn't she opted to abort me in the first place. She has never been the mother I wanted her to be. I would rather not use the word worst here. I'd simply say my mother never had it in her to become a parent. She was a great teacher no doubt about it. But she never cared. I tried for a connection throughout my life. I was unable to get one.
My father had been absent most of the time and whatever time I did spend with him. I would not say I have fond memories of it.
When I think of parents being the role models for their children, I think to myself. Is this really how I want to treat children, in general. I have been teaching since the past ten years. Through out this time, I have never raised my hand against any one of my pupil and they are very well disciplined. In fact my students 'love' me. I use this term 'love' because I have felt affection and a sense of belonging from them. The kids that I have tried raising, I did so by simply being there for them. Whether it was their homework or taking the to a movie or fixing their game-boy or guiding them through career choices or simply clearing their head off in relationship issues. I did what my parents could never do. I was there for my students.
My parents gave up on me a long time ago. I miss them. There are holes inside of me. I never had a family to support me. I guess I love my parents but I don't like them. I do not like the moral examples they have set for me and I certainly don't like the way they behave and treat people. I guess not everyone wants to end up like their peeps.